Too Many Things Left Unknown

There is too much speculation in my life; Too many things left unknown

Too many adventures left to the realm of dream and fantasy, too many ideas left unborn in my subconscious, too many ideas and beliefs allowed to run my life unchecked, unchallenged…left as truth when there is evidence to the contrary.

I came to a lot of conclusions last year, shortly after having a series of DMT (N-Dimethyltryptamine) experiences, and I must admit to having done very little with the conclusions. Partly because of the human tendency to stay comfortable; stuffing our gullets and engorging our guts while we shrink our brains and thinking capacity with the latest “hit”series on TV. (I personally love Fringe, Criminal Minds and believe it or not, Cougar Town) – and largely because of fear; fear of the unknown, fear of what I will have to sacrifice in order to make these new conclusions a living experience in my life…fear of what I will become.

But, as I said on my Facebook Wall (http://www.facebook.com/damien.oriley), the things you see and experience on DMT can’t be unseen or forgotten, they burn themselves on the inside of your skull and try as you might – encounters with truth leave you changed and at times, deeply disturbed.

Day after tomorrow is my birthday and my gift to myself? The honest confession that my life is supremely fucked-up. I am admitting to myself that I carry the potential to accomplish anything I decide I want to and that I see things and have a great understanding of many of life’s most secret workings and so far, have done very little with that knowledge.

All that’s about to change.

I have a sister that loves to whine an inordinate amount about…well, just about everything. And sometimes I want to apply palm to cheek and yell “Stop It! Stop that incessant blabbering and change whatever it is you feel so victimized by!”

I would do well to take my own advice, yes?

I knew you would think that.

When I lay in bed at night (you know that special moment between the world of harsh, everyday life and that soft, hazy world of dreams) and with a true and honest eye, look at my life – I can’t stand what I see. And only I can change it. In the words of the Highlander “There can be only one” and that one friends and neighbors, is me and I am he.

So, as Queen supplies the background music and I sharpen the sword which will inevidently take off my own head…sit tight; this blog is about to get bloody.

Damien
3:36pm – May 17, 2010